Thoughts I’ve Had While Playing Tennis at a Nudist Resort

Should I wear the blue or the red headband?

Looks like Maureen missed her wax appointment, again.

I still prefer the term “tennis player” to “swinger.”

They definitely feel lower this year.

Nobody’s perfect, but Irene’s double faults are annoying.

I see the humor in his BALL MACHINE tattoo, but is the downward arrow necessary?

Court In The Act, Court Short, Court With Your Pants Down? What’s wrong with naming the courts numerically?

Oh, here she comes – ol’ Flashing Meadows.

Why does it always become a dick-swinging contest when Derek forgets his racket?

The Service Box really is a cruel nickname.

Is that Clive’s butthole, or is he sponsored by Adidas?

Another year, another Ball Boy who didn’t read the job description.

Whoa – I didn’t recognize Janet without her hat on.

Are those squirrels staring at me? Oh man, they look hungry.

When will Sylvia stop flapping about at the net?

Topspin, backspin – is there nothing Keith’s penis can’t do?

Don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it…“Welcome to Wimballsdon!” Shit.

~Steve Wyatt

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