— Scrolling Thunder —

Worrying about the fate of the world at 4 a.m. can be exhausting. Here are some suggestions to add a little lightness to your always-ominous predawn scroll. 

Bloom Scrolling:
Watch an endless supply of beautiful flowers flushing and opening. 

Broom Scrolling:
Learn the ins and outs of broom mechanics and find the best broom for you.

Boom Scrolling:
Research the best boom mics in the movie business and make sure that nothing in your life goes unheard again.

Loom Scrolling:
Find out what a loom is, what it does, and how exactly it works. Maybe you’ll want to cut ties with tech and embrace that #loomlife forever.

Hume Scrolling:
David Hume’s said a lot of shit, use the internet to read it all and then decide if you can understand any of it. 

Flume Scrolling:
Flumes are definitely a thing. Take some time to figure out which kind of flume you like more, a diversionary flume or a log flume? My money’s on log flume. 

Plume Scrolling:
Plumes are beautiful and confusing – and I’m betting you could use an old timey hat with a jaunty ostrich plume in your life. Find one now. 

Groom Scrolling:
Forget dating and just go for it, you can probably find MANY willing grooms online in only a few hours. Full disclosure: they’re probably weird. 

Sleeping:
Sometimes it’s best to just put your phone in the freezer and call it a day.

By Claire Wyman and Tim Cahill.

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