John 3:16
“For God so loved the world, that he sent flowers and a Whitman’s chocolates sampler, that whosoever believeth on him should not think he forgot their birthday.”
Psalm 23
“The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he is into some weird shit.”
Jeremiah 29:11
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans I’ll probably cancel, giving you great joy. For nothing bringeth joy like plans cancelled.”
Genesis 1:1
“In the beginning God created a nice wooden shelf to display his awards.”