— Happy Memories —

When I was six and we were on our way to temple, I asked Dad if God was real. He said: “I don’t know.” He didn’t know! That really impacted me. A few years later, I met a guy who did know that God was real, and I joined his cult.

1. “Nice win, kid.” (Resumes work call.)
2. Listen, you just gotta march onto that court, pick the biggest kid and tell him you’re going to beat his ass. And then ya do it. On the court or on the blacktop. Any which way. And if you can’t do it? Well then I suggest you apologize. For lying.
3. You see those vertical lines on the side of the mountain? Those are blast holes from the charges they used to clear the way for this road. Real dynamite. Like in the cartoons.
4. I oughta have you talk to my Uncle Zoom. He was a natural. And boy could he dance… Man did the worm so dirty, it got clean.
5. Boy, what I wouldn’t give to see the outtakes from that “Survivor” show.
6. Welp, winning isn’t everything. Krispy Kreme on the other hand… What’s say we get a Krispy Kreme?
7. That Dale’s a real champion. What’s his Dad-situation? I bet he already has one, right?
8. Your sister was in a skiing accident.