— Conspiracy Theories —

When the crop circles first appeared, our town went into a panic. No one knew where they’d come from or what they meant. The circles weren’t even that round. 

Dad told us it was probably just aliens. But I knew how much he hated corn.

While many people have been indoctrinated from birth to believe that the Earth is a sphere, the simple fact of the matter is that it is shaped like a flute.

Please consider the evidence:

1) That is why it is always windy. 

2) Ever heard the expression “flute as an Earth”? That is because it is being deliberately suppressed. 

3) Stars are a concert audience. Thunder is them clapping. 

4) Flutes are reedless instruments. Otherwise we would have noticed the enormous reed. 

5) The pyramids were intended to be metronomes. 

Thank you for your time.