— Car Manuals —

Thou shalt not operate other Popemobiles, for there is only one.


Thou shalt not rename thy Popemobile to thy “Popewhip.”


Thou shalt not take the name of thy Popemobile Dealership in vain.


Thou shalt only fill thy Popemobile with Premium gas.


Thou shalt only use the following air fresheners in thy Popemobile: frankincense, myrrh and New Car Smell.


Thou shalt wear a seatbelt at all times, especially while waving in a particularly frenetic manner, or while off-roading.


Thou shalt not write ‘WASH ME’ (or ‘WASH AWAY MY SINS’) on any part of thy Popemobile.


Thou shalt not use the NOS installed in thy Popemobile, except if His Holiness is late to a service.


Thou shalt not give the public thy Holy finger while driving thy Popemobile.


Thou shalt not drink and drive thy Popemobile – unless His Holiness is drinking the Blood of Christ, or it’s a Sunday.

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