Seth Fried

“Don’t think of it as me dying. Think of it as one of my infinite selves waking up from a wonderful dream.”

Seth Fried

(b. 1983, d. 2038)

Loving husband, 

fell into fireplace 

“Now that I’ve invented time travel, it’s time to pants Hitler good.”

Seth Fried

(b. 1983, d. 1940)

Loving husband, 

tripped on stolen pants while running from Nazis 

“Brb, going to defeat God with logic.”

Seth Fried 

(b. 1983, d. ∞)

Loving husband, 

choked on Invisalign 

“This is very important. Don’t write this down. I need a separate funeral for each of my secret families.”

Seth Fried

(b. 1983, d. 2042)

Loving husbands 

“Life belongs to the curious.”

Seth Fried

(b. 1983, d. 2051)

Loving husband, 

was allowed to see the cockpit on a commercial flight and started touching everything 

“You fools. I can’t be killed.”

Seth Fried

(b. 1983, d. 2022)

Loving husband, 

beaten to death by teenagers while attempting to cheat at laser tag

While many people have been indoctrinated from birth to believe that the Earth is a sphere, the simple fact of the matter is that it is shaped like a flute.

Please consider the evidence:

1) That is why it is always windy. 

2) Ever heard the expression “flute as an Earth”? That is because it is being deliberately suppressed. 

3) Stars are a concert audience. Thunder is them clapping. 

4) Flutes are reedless instruments. Otherwise we would have noticed the enormous reed. 

5) The pyramids were intended to be metronomes. 

Thank you for your time. 

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