Want to keep your roads safe? This one’s easy. All you need is a lifted pickup, a photo of you in a high school letterman jacket (bonus for cheer photo), and three simple steps:
Hop on the interstate
Look for that gummy worm you dropped in the seat crevasse
Hit an embankment
You will be remembered with a plastic cross adorned with your photo (bitchin’ hair swoop) on the side of the highway that your loved ones will see every day on their way to work. Seeing the exact spot where you were ejected from the vehicle will remind them to slow down and buckle up.