Josh Baumgart

Want to keep your roads safe? This one’s easy. All you need is a lifted pickup, a photo of you in a high school letterman jacket (bonus for cheer photo), and three simple steps:


Hop on the interstate


Look for that gummy worm you dropped in the seat crevasse


Hit an embankment


You will be remembered with a plastic cross adorned with your photo (bitchin’ hair swoop) on the side of the highway that your loved ones will see every day on their way to work. Seeing the exact spot where you were ejected from the vehicle will remind them to slow down and buckle up.

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