The Grassy Knoll Shooter The Perfect Beach Day Stabber The Idyllic Suburb Bad-Doer The Freshly Mowed Lawn Mauler The Disneyland On Your 11th Birthday Shanker The Clock Just Struck Midnight on New Year’s Eve And You Go In For The Kiss Impaler The Watching Your Kids Blossom Into Beautiful Young Adults Butcherer The Growing Old […]
Author: Johnny Bauers and Maya Prashanth
Johnny Bauers is a contributor to The Onion and - if you're reading this - has probably written something here too. Maya Prashanth is a comedy writer from New Jersey with three top teeth for every two bottom teeth.