- Apply toner
- Surrender illusions of control over your life or the outside world.
- Redirect that mental energy towards your face.
- This is your enemy.
- Arm yourself with all 45 bottles of Genetics’
- Slather products onto skin and wait to feel different.
- Do you feel different?
- If not, try slathering more products.
- Hop into Genetics’
proprietary time machine
- Trick one of your parents into reproducing with someone with excellent skin.
- Realize that in so doing, you unlocked an alternate dimension that threatens to undermine human existence, and destroy life on Earth.
- Get that sorted out.
- Upgrade to Genetics’
- Experience existential angst.
- Experiment with jade rolling.
- Experiment with Rick Rolling.
- Yell at your skin to stop being so sensitive already!
- Travel back to 2005.
- Burn all tanning beds.
- Work to dismantle systems of oppression. You won’t believe how bomb your skin will look without capitalism!
- – 74. Sever ties with toxic people, including yourself.