Brian McConnachie

…Snarling and smirking; larking about and swooning; acting snarky; Schmedly’s Narcoma; ceaselessly yelling at what you think is living in your walls; the Jimmies and the Willies; all loss of ethics; the urge to roughhouse; fainting and drooling while driving and singing; tongue stink; knuckle dancing; the Nincompoop Syndrome — Level 2; Acting like a pig-eyed dandy; rapid cheek inflating and deflating; acting wall-eyed for no apparent reason; lazy hearing; growing angry hair; spilling the beans; leaping and glaring; talking the talk — then taking the talk and walking it back (like a reverse mortgage without the paperwork); shaking, pointing then really shaking; the want to be fondled; the Sloppies; acting suspiciously while drowning; drooling while fracking; always demanding more time in the barrel with Dopey; lumps and belly lice; taking slap dancing lessons too personally; madly scratching all over while waltzing; monkey business at its most irrepressible; growing aggressively vague; hiding under the furniture; taking things from the wheelhouse and not putting them back; eyes spinning around in your head, faster and faster and faster, until you scream: “Why did I have all those jellyfish brains that passed their expiration date and now belong to the ages as soon might I!”; the Cranberry Crazies; the woeful jitters; the screaming mimis; the hiccups, Chicago style; the swelling meanies; reckless, hallucinating and deathbed yodeling; bucket kicking, fleas; ear wigs; belly spiders; toilet snakes; and a certainty you’ve begun growing extra fingers and toes.*

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