Bryan Duff

The owner of a 4BR/2BA died last Thursday from natural causes, leaving his beautiful, sun-filled home in a HOT area up for grabs. His loss is YOUR GAIN!

Former owner was born on June 22, 1942 and married his late wife Laura on August 30, 1965 in a picturesque backyard that makes the property a MUST SEE and MUST HAVE. He is survived by a family that has enough to deal with right now so act fast to take advantage of their willingness to negotiate – and mortgage rates – being at RECORD LOWS!

Vintage and modern are seen everywhere in this huge BUNGALOW where the owner passed away peacefully in his sleep. First floor features a bedroom with a LIKE NEW hospice bed and wheelchair-accessible toilet. Stairs lead upstairs via chair-lift where you will find three more bedrooms and full bath with wheelchair-accessible shower. 

This family home sits on an extra-wide lot making it perfect to DEMOLISH and REPLACE with investment of your dreams!

UNBEATABLE LOCATION in an up-and-coming neighborhood that is getting dumber and dumber chains all-the time. GET IN NOW while you can still drive out all the late owner’s surviving friends.

A private family service will be held graveside on Sunday with a reception immediately following in the LARGE eat-in kitchen. Stop by for a viewing and to PAY YOUR RESPECTS!

Memorials may be made to Restoration Ministries and inquiries can be made to Kristin Michaels Realty Group. DON’T WAIT as location is truly TO DIE FOR!

1. Write without pay until somebody offers pay. If nobody offers within three years, the candidate may look upon this circumstance with the most implicit confidence as the sign that sawing wood is what he was intended for.

Update: 
Write without pay until someone offers pay. If nobody offers within three years, well, that’s what it means to be a writer nowadays. Look upon sawing wood as a way to pay for health insurance.

2. Use the right word, not its second cousin.

Start with the right word, then use whatever word from thesauraus.com that makes you sound smartest.

3. Use good grammar.

And/or emojis.

4. There is one thing I can’t stand and won’t stand, from many people. That is, sham sentimentality.

Actually, sham sentimentality is the Cutest. Thing. Ever. Fan as much of it as possible and then top it all off with “like and share.”

5. The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction. By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is that you really want to say.

The time to begin writing an article is as soon as its topic starts trending. By that time you begin to perceive how to monetize it for 3 or maybe even $4.

6. Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Actually, distort your facts first, and then you can straighten them as much as you please.

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