Anthony Scibelli

Bilbo: “I will miss you all. What a wonderful adventure this was. So long, Dori. Ori. Nori. … ‘Big Guy.’ Oin. Gloin.”

“Excuse me. What was that?”

Bilbo: “Just saying goodbye.”

“You don’t know my name, do you?”

Bilbo: “What? Of course, I know your name. I know all the dwarves’ names. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“What is it then?”

Bilbo: “Hmm. What was that?”

“I can’t believe you don’t know my name, after this whole adventure. I rode with you on the back of a giant eagle.”

Bilbo: “I remember it well.”

“Saved you from a Goblin.”

Bilbo: “For which I’m eternally grateful.”

“I helped you kill a giant spider.”

Bilbo: “Of course you did. We fought the giant spider together.”

Ori: “I’m the one that killed the spider with you.”

Bilbo: …

“So you don’t know my name then.”

(A pause.)

(Bilbo slips on the Ring and disappears.)

(Sound of footsteps speeding away.)

I really thought Elliott would be more impressed by Atlantis, but he spent the whole time we were down there bulging his eyes, gasping for air, and pointing at this throat. It’s like, I get it, cool tattoo. But he really embarrassed me in front of all the fish people and underwater ruins.