Embarrassing Thoughts During the Extinction Event

Oh god, is that really a meteor? Gotta take a picture for, like, posterity.

With that many people dead, no way we’re going to have work tomorrow.

The petroleum could keep spewing up and destabilizing the mantle, and Ron Desantis still wouldn’t care.

They say all crops were ignited when the meteor hit and there’s going to be one final war, plus my imposter syndrome is flaring up again.

Haha, the nukes made the sky look just like that blue/yellow dress.

The oceans are boiling—oh no! And did I leave the oven on—maybe!

Since the North Koreans’ electronic pulse wiped out all world finance, I wonder if I’ll have to make that last payment on my Hyundai.

All these volcanoes erupting at once are really making me consider quitting smoking.

Now that the aliens are enslaving us, I probably won’t have to update my LinkedIn anymore.

~Jeff Kulik

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