Invoices That Can’t Be Ignored

As a freelance writer and artist, it can be hard to get paid on time. So, to remedy this, we’ve devised ten uniquely effective, results-driven invoice submission techniques. 

An invoice that looks like a carefully crafted ransom note.

An invoice that looks like an urgent Grand Jury subpoena notice.  

An invoice that’s written in the unmistakable (and overbearing) handwriting of your clients’ mother.

An invoice that’s stuffed inside of a delicious 24 oz. Carvel Lil’ Love™ vanilla ice cream cake.

An invoice that’s lightly velcroed to the back of a 4-month old, roly-poly, quietly barking white and black sheepdog puppy named Clonkers. 

An invoice that’s been tucked deep inside your client’s mailbox and justtttttt happens to be attached to one of those extendable accordion-style boxing-glove arms that Bugs Bunny used to use that will shoot out and punch them in the face when they go to check the mail. 

An invoice that’s covered in packing peanuts and hidden at the bottom of a curiously shaped Design Within Reach box.  

An invoice that looks like the cover of a beautifully packaged For Your Consideration Emmy screener DVD for an under-the-radar, gritty FX drama called “Please Pay Me Pronto, Pal.”

An invoice that looks like the latest issue of Rolling Stone.

An invoice that’s hand-delivered with kindness and tact, in real life, at a reasonable time of day, from one human being to another, and paid upon receipt.

~Kristina Libby & Timothy Cahill

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