I got two words for you: help me

You better listen up and listen close ‘cus I got two words and two words only for you, pal: 

Help me. 

Okay, that doesn’t quite capture everything I wanted to say, buster, so I got three words for you: 

I am scared. 

Still confused, punk? Figures. That’s why I gave you the number of words and then the words themselves so you’d have extra time to process it. If you can’t understand that, then I got 29 words for you:

I’m as confused as you are. I don’t know which voice is the real me. All I know is that I can’t control myself and I’m far from home.

NEED YOUR EARS CHECKED, CHUMP? Or maybe I need to break each of the words into their own individual sentences, destroying the basic rules of linguistics for the purpose of putting this to bed. If that’s what it takes, I got four words for you:

I. Miss. My. Family. 

Capisce? The proper response to capisce is capisce, comprende? The proper response to comprende is comprendo, capisce? If no comprendo then I got seven words for you, jerk-off:

I’m not fit to live like this.

Did I stutter? I tell you to listen closely, I get 45 words for you, and this is how you repay me? I guess it’s a shame on me for choosing my words unwisely and wasting everybody’s time. Do me one last favor ‘cus I only got two good words left for an asshole like you: 

Hold. Me. 

~Robert Criss

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