Why I Am Disheveled

Fell into a hole.

Fell into a ditch.

Rolled down a hill (intentionally).

Rolled down a hill (unintentionally).

Woke up in a hole.

Woke up in a ditch.

Got electrocuted.

First time putting on this outfit, so don’t know the “right way” it is to be worn.

Chased by an animal (dog/coyote/rat, etc.).

Chased by a maniac (deserved).

Jumped out of a moving car.

Tossed out of a moving car.

Got jostled around in the trunk.

Got roughed up.

Was rasslin’ with my cousin.

Was russlin’ up some grub.

Escaped my captor.

Had the top down on my convertible.

Was held upside down by my ankles.

Got stuck in the crawlspace.

Slipped off the roof.

Took the boat out on the lake.

Got thrown out (various respectable establishments).

Slept in my clothes.

~David Guzman

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