Listen to a recording of this piece here.

There once was a man who had a dog. But whenever the man spoke to the dog, he was misheard, since the dog only saw world upside down and heard everything backwards.

The dog thought the man was always calling him “God.”

Because of this, the dog grew presumptuous about his “God” status. The Dog wanted to impart his omniscient wisdom onto the man. However all the man ever heard was a series of barks and whines.

The dog became more and more stymied by this failure of communication.

One day, He decided to end his taciturn misery, and since he presumed he was a god, he thought it would also put an end to this ridiculous universe which didn’t listen to him.

And so he ended it all by running in front of a garbage truck.

After his death, the dog awoke in a land full of clouds, rainbows and fire hydrants.

A being of light greeted the dog and said that his name was “God.”

Of course the backwards canine only heard the word “Dog,” and so he decided to hump this other, strange dog.

And God was perfectly fine with that.

~E.R. Flynn

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