- Encouraging us to make loud animal noises during poses, the teacher demonstrated several, sweat pouring down his face.
- Guiding the class into a precarious balancing pose, the teacher invited us to imagine a single potato chip between our butt cheeks as a way to hold steady.
- Leaving us in corpse pose for an hour, the teacher repeatedly knelt down to rub our temples with hands that reeked of garlic.
- Regularly referring to her divorce and miscarriages throughout her instruction, the teacher would then finish class by singing to us at the top of her lungs.
- Hopping down into a squat, the teacher promptly emitted a resounding fart for all to hear.
- Blasting Cardi B’s “WAP”, the teacher sang along to every word up through the final metaphor of macaroni in a pot.
- Pressing PLAY on a handheld boombox, the teacher suddenly filled the silent room with a deafening static.
- Suggesting that we practice a certain pose at home in front of a mirror, the teacher shared that she does so naked, save for a pair of high heels.
- Sporting a baseball cap, the teacher marched through rows of mats, barking orders such as “Suck it up, buttercup.”