Bank Robbery Notes, By Your Favorite Writers


Take your long, powerful hands and start slowly loading this satin sparkle purse with the biggest bill stacks you’ve got. I will stare at you until you’ve completed this lust filled act. Afterward, I want you to watch me run slowly toward the street, where I’ll bask in the fiery heat of this moment, and look hard at the beautiful bay, sparkling like satin in the sunlight. Shhhh, be bad, don’t tell your boss…


Good fortune has struck you today, my friend. Take the funds of the Dark Overlords and give them to me, so that even the smallest and unlikeliest amongst us will gain their reward. Together we are not “thief” and “teller” but fellows, the merrymakers of opportunity. Now come along and dump that safe into my backpack.


Money. Now. Or death. 


I tumbled through that bank door 

Like a loony-goony flirt 

Now put ‘da money in ‘da bag

And no one gets hurt.

~Tim Cahill & Kristina Libby

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