Rejected Ben & Jerry’s Flavors

The Sundae Also Rises

For Spoon The Bell Tollhouse Cookies

Oliver Twix

A Tale Of Two Pretty Big Pieces Of Cookie Dough

Kurt Vonnegut’s Jello Babies

Downton Flabby Extra Buttery Sugar Ball Chocolate Sludge

Citrus Melba

Kanye’s Crazy Nonsense Bubblegum and Peanut Brittle

Bernie Sanders’ Annoying Old Chews


If I Could Murder One Celebrity It Would Be Chris Pine-apple Sorbet

Malcom Gladwell’s It’s Okay To Ignore A Little Child Grape

A Pigment Of My Imagination Vegan Bacon Yogurt-Like Water Ice

~Gregg Maxwell Parker

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