Rejected Brand Mascots

KITCHENAID
Jeff the Furious Whisk

FEDEX
Droppy the FedEx T-Rex 

FOLGERS
Clunk the Filthy Mug

TESLA
A sociopathic battery named Spark Jarvis

CHARMIN
Sludge, that bear they keep in the attic

PRINGLES
Mr. Pringles’ younger brother Matt

SMUCKERS
Dr. Sticky, a confused jar of jam that’s been living in the back of your fridge for an unjustifiably long time

COLGATE
Queen Veneer: Officious bicuspid

SOUTHWEST AIRLINES
A nameless badger who hides in luggage

IMPOSSIBLE MEAT
Patty, a hamburger with Imposter Syndrome

WALGREENS
Jabby the Jumpy Syringe

~Laura K. Duncan

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