Failed Attempts at Writing a Joke About Coelacanths

A coelacanth (pronounced cee-low-kanth) is a fish species biologists thought died out 66 million years ago only to discover they are still alive and well to this day. Since their rediscovery in 1938, every effort to write a good coelacanth joke has met with failure. Alas, it appears a good coelacanth joke may never be crafted.

In the event you want to take a crack at it, here are the top failed attempts at writing a coelacanth joke:

  1. A priest, a rabbi and a coelacanth are golfing. The priest picks up his golf ball, walks over to the hole and drops it in. The rabbi seeing this…

    Oh, wait! The coelacanth just asphyxiated!

  2. Two Coelacanths are sitting on a bar stool when a woman walks in with a monkey on her shoulder. The coelacanth on the right looks at the coelacanth on the left. Without so much as a…

    Oh, wait! They both just now asphyxiated!

  3. Bart, a coelacanth, decides to go parachuting. Midway down he pulls the rip cord of his main chute. Nothing happens. He pulls the rip cord of his auxiliary chute. Nothing happens.

    Never mind! He just died of asphyxiation.

  4. Knock! Knock!

    Who’s there?

    Margaret! Come out here and look! There’s an asphyxiated coelacanth on the porch!

Joke writers, good luck.

~Tom Wallace

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on email