Describing My Novel to an Agent

So it’s the future, and there’s this dystopian government. No freedom. They can put you in jail just for thinking, man. Everyone’s divided into groups, or something like that.  They fight for the entertainment of these sort of bad guys.  Then, one man stands up for everyone’s rights.  Just as a placeholder, I’m calling him Chris Pratt.

So, this Chris Pratt, he’s just like you or me, except that he’s special.   But you can relate to him because he’s got, like, doubts.  Then he meets this girl.  As a placeholder, I’m calling her Scarlett Johanssen.  Now, she’s basically his opposite but they join forces, and they realize they can defeat the bad guys. The government. Whatever. We should probably reach out to Chris when he’s between projects. And after I finish writing the book, I guess.

The novel ends with a big CGI showdown where Chris and the girl totally prevail. Oh, and the bad guys are wearing sunglasses so we know they’re evil. Boom, product placement. And remind me to add big speeches and life-affirming messages for the kids in the last act. I mean the last chapter.   

So, I’m thinking the book’s a trilogy, where the third part’s like, two parts?  Since I’ll be stuck padding that out, I’ll definitely need a ghostwriter. But, to address your concerns, I promise I won’t start sharing my conservative beliefs on Twitter and complaining about getting cancelled and costing you money. Please advise on next steps.

~Jeff Kulik

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