Five Poems About Johns With Weird Junk

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

This mischevious prankster

And lifelong speed demon

Once busted his penis

So bad it peed semen

JOHN BOBBITT

Abused and assaulted 

His poor wife Lorena

Instead of a lawsuit

He got a sub-peener

LYNDON BAINES JOHNSON

He sent troops to ‘Nam

To go die in the jungle 

And had special pants made

With room for his bunghole

JON HAMM

His career kinda fell off

Following Mad Men

But he’s got a big willy

So life’s not so bad then

JOHN THE BAPTIST

He sanctified sinners

So they could be free men

Some scholars believed

That he also peed semen

~Audrey Clark

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