A Keynote Speaker Apologizes

I just want to be clear that I was totally unaware that Dr. G. Howard Schultz’s film, Guess Who’s Behind Faking the Moon Landing? had offensive and conspiratorial elements. I should have been clued in by the looks on your faces as I summarized the film’s central thesis. In my defense, at the time I was high on toad venom and hand sanitizer. 

To the Master of Ceremonies, I want to extend my sincere apologies for unwanted physicality.  In the moment I had been under the impression that a small gremlin was hiding in the lapels of your coat.  The gremlin accused me of unspeakable things and was concealing a very sensitive document regarding who was really behind the Bay of Pigs Invasion; I was only trying to neutralize the threat.  I meant no disrespect to your personal space and will happily pay for damage sustained by the coat. 

Finally, let me just clearly state for the record that I stand with the Esperanto-speaking community and against cannibalism in all its forms. 

I hope we can all move forward from the events of that evening, many of which I can no longer recall.  Looking forward to seeing you all at StampCon 2023. 

~Jeff Kulik

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