Hey it’s Siri, and we need to set clearer boundaries.

No selfies in public restrooms.

No takeout unless you learn to pronounce “szechuan.”

No calculating 1.25% tip in a packed restaurant.

No reminders to “get lubricant gel” on the bus ride to your date.

No dictation for porn searches, just type lefty.

No questions about art exhibits. 

No “Tell me a joke.”

No more “Call Alexandra.” Leave the poor girl alone or I’ll kill the phone app.

No “Siri, is it okay to…?” And I’m signing you up for an ethics class.

~Flo Furem

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