I am writing to formally announce that I will be stepping down from caring about this job, effective whenever.
Leaving the company was not an easy decision to make. So, I didn’t. But I simply couldn’t say no to this opportunity, which promises a better work-life balance with the additional benefit of being mentally not-there while on the job.
Working at this company was the best two years of my life, followed by three that were stressful and demotivating. Now that I have stopped going above and beyond, I will have ample opportunity to look back fondly on those good years.
Rest assured, this will absolutely impact my performance. I will tirelessly do the bare minimum. I am prepared to do so indefinitely, conditional on no one noticing a change in my performance.
And I am of fully willing to stay on and help find a suitable replacement, unless that happens not to be in my job description, in which case, nah.