Worrying about the fate of the world at 4 a.m. can be exhausting. Here are some suggestions to add a little lightness to your always-ominous predawn scroll.
Bloom Scrolling:
Watch an endless supply of beautiful flowers flushing and opening.
Broom Scrolling:
Learn the ins and outs of broom mechanics and find the best broom for you.
Boom Scrolling:
Research the best boom mics in the movie business and make sure that nothing in your life goes unheard again.
Loom Scrolling:
Find out what a loom is, what it does, and how exactly it works. Maybe you’ll want to cut ties with tech and embrace that #loomlife forever.
Hume Scrolling:
David Hume’s said a lot of shit, use the internet to read it all and then decide if you can understand any of it.
Flume Scrolling:
Flumes are definitely a thing. Take some time to figure out which kind of flume you like more, a diversionary flume or a log flume? My money’s on log flume.
Plume Scrolling:
Plumes are beautiful and confusing – and I’m betting you could use an old timey hat with a jaunty ostrich plume in your life. Find one now.
Groom Scrolling:
Forget dating and just go for it, you can probably find MANY willing grooms online in only a few hours. Full disclosure: they’re probably weird.
Sleeping:
Sometimes it’s best to just put your phone in the freezer and call it a day.
By Claire Wyman and Tim Cahill.