- When we asked you for your name, you said “not much, you?” and then vomited
- You brought a knife to lazer tag.
- We get it, you’re an orphan.
- At every party, you insist on “pouring one out for Epstein.”
- You are majoring in Lunch.
- Your poetry is so bad.
- Your autobiography, “I Am The Worst: Reasons Why I Should Not be in a Sorority” was