Variations on “the floor is lava” game.

The couch is java.

The ceiling is guava.

The lampshade is Bratislava.

The curtains are a baklava.

The coffee table is halva.

The wallpaper is a vulva.

Sarah Totton

Sarah Totton's humor has appeared at McSweeney's, Points in Case, Slackjaw, and Weekly Humorist, among others. She has won (dis)honorable mentions in the Bulwer Lytton, Lyttle Lytton, and Wergle Flomp contests.

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