– So you’re sure that you’re not a Leprechaun?
– Yes, I’m sure!
– But babe, you haven’t taken off your tall green hat since the day we met.
– I’m bald.
– Oh god, I think I’m going to be sick.
– Look, I promise I’m not a Leprechaun, I just really like 19th century buckled shoes.
– You’re bald? When were you going to tell me?
– I… uh… I mean I guess was planning on it, but—
– Dating someone who’s bald is like living in hell.