If your workplace emails were sent by third graders.

Hello Sales Team,

Congrats on a great first quarter! Due to the 28% sales increase, I am giving everyone an incredible bonus. Everyone will receive 10 extra minutes at recess.

Keep up the incredible work.

Nick, Sales Manager

Hello Robbie,

Attached to this email is the final design of the new company logo. Per your notes, I added more stick people fighting a giant gorilla with bazookas.

Looking forward to your thoughts.

Kendra, Graphic Designer

Greetings All,

This email is a reminder that, although you are not touching anyone, pointing a finger and saying, “I’m not touching you, I’m not touching you” still violates the Employee Misconduct and Harassment Policy.

Thank you,
Brittany, HR Manager

Greetings Colleagues,

Hope you’re all well. I am emailing to inform you that Sam spotted a strange alien bug in our building’s foyer.

You better watch out because it’s probably poisonous. If you see it, tell Marcus. He can smash it because he’s super strong and not afraid of dying.

Best, Billy, CFO

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