A scene at Guitar Center.

Well, hello there, little lady. That’s quite a guitar you’ve got! In fact, maybe even too much guitar for a girl your size, are you sure you wouldn’t be happier with a – ok, ok, no need to bite my head off! Just trying to help. 

So, let’s see what you’ve got. Don’t be shy, let me hear you play! If you want to be onstage someday, you can’t afford to be shy, you know. Oh, you have a show tonight? Well, isn’t that – oh, you’re in the middle of a tour? Good for you! Here, let me adjust that tuning for you just a little – ha ha, ok, my bad, I’m sure you know what you’re doing. 

Hold up, your pick is – look, I’m just saying, that’s an unusual way to hold a pick, that’s all. Are you self-taught? I have a YouTube channel you should definitely check out. 

Hey, you’re pretty good! Most girls really don’t get the *aggression* behind punk rock, you know what I mean? No, no, it’s a compliment! I mean girls are usually much too nice to be that aggro! But you came pretty close. Your boyfriend must play, am I right?

Oh, haha, you trying to pull a Pete Townshend? You want to hold it a little further down the neck, see, right there – 

Ow! That’s my HEAD! I was just trying to help, you don’t have to be such a bitch.

You want to talk to my what? Lady, I don’t even work here.

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