1) Perch on Sir David Attenborough’s finger. 2) Fly into my windshield.
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Sarah Totton's humor has appeared at McSweeney's, Points in Case, Slackjaw, and Weekly Humorist, among others. She has won (dis)honorable mentions in the Bulwer Lytton, Lyttle Lytton, and Wergle Flomp contests.