(As I gesture at my solid-colored throw pillows)
You’ll notice that love is NOT the heart of this home.
* * *
I spent some time on my computer today…
(Here I raise a single eyebrow) which is to say, my abacus. I’m an accurate guy!
* * *
Our president is a bit…how do I put this…unpresidential?
(Then I proceed to laugh until everyone is laughing too.)
* * *
How apropos…
(I remove my glasses and toss them into a nearby hole) OF NOTHING!!!!!!
* * *
Are you alright? You’re looking a little ill.
(Saying this puts me in a power position.)
* * *
I have one hundred million dollars!!!!!!!!!