Envision yourself as a glass bottle filled with sand. On your right heel there’s a small hole plugged by a cork. Now, gently pull the cork. Feel the sand slowly, smoothly pouring out of you. You’re growing lighter; finally, the last grain trickles soundlessly out. Now quickly plug the hole so no bugs crawl in. 

Lie down on your back with your arms in a restful position. Tune out all external noise and close your eyes. Remain motionless. Do this for eight hours each night when it gets dark.

Breathe in through your nose and slowly count to five, and continue inhaling until you finish: one, two, three, four, five. Now breathe out through your mouth, continuing the count: six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Repeat this process and ponder all the people who breathe without thought or effort. Suckers.

Okay here we go
Give me a sec to warm up
Poem on the way

This was due today?
Um window chair computer
Stack of mail wallet

Facebook Twitter Yelp
Xbox PC tennis ball
Puppy screensaver

Those were bad haikus
It was wrong to waste your time
Should have wrote better

Voice of reader: “Two vertical dots on the lower left, one in the upper right, then you’ve got three upper dots, missing the one on the top right. Okay, then there’s two diagonal dots, upper left and middle right, then five of the six dots, missing only the one on the lower right…” (CONTINUES FOR 718 HOURS)