Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Andy.
Andy?! Move, you’re standing on a trap door!
Wha– (falling) AHH!
“Ok everybody, just repeat after me: (breathes in) stable like the earth, generous like the air, flexible like the water, warm like the sun (breathes out) (breathes in) stable like the earth, generous like the air, flexible like the water, warm like the sun (breathes out) – yes, just keep it going! That’s it. Generous like the air, yes! Warm like the sun, sure! Whoohoo, you feeling it too, Melissa? LET’S GO!”
- “Nice win, kid.” (Resumes work call.)
- Listen, you just gotta march onto that court, pick the biggest kid and tell him you’re going to beat his ass. And then ya do it. On the court or on the blacktop. Any which way. And if you can’t do it? Well then I suggest you apologize. For lying.
- You see those vertical lines on the side of the mountain? Those are blast holes from the charges they used to clear the way for this road. Real dynamite. Like in the cartoons.
- I oughta have you talk to my Uncle Zoom. He was a natural. And boy could he dance… Man did the worm so dirty, it got clean.
- Boy, what I wouldn’t give to see the outtakes from that “Survivor” show.
- Welp, winning isn’t everything. Krispy Kreme on the other hand… What’s say we get a Krispy Kreme?
- That Dale’s a real champion. What’s his Dad-situation? I bet he already has one, right?
- Your sister was in a skiing accident.
Bilbo: “I will miss you all. What a wonderful adventure this was. So long, Dori. Ori. Nori. … ‘Big Guy.’ Oin. Gloin.”
“Excuse me. What was that?”
Bilbo: “Just saying goodbye.”
“You don’t know my name, do you?”
Bilbo: “What? Of course, I know your name. I know all the dwarves’ names. Don’t be ridiculous.”
“What is it then?”
Bilbo: “Hmm. What was that?”
“I can’t believe you don’t know my name, after this whole adventure. I rode with you on the back of a giant eagle.”
Bilbo: “I remember it well.”
“Saved you from a Goblin.”
Bilbo: “For which I’m eternally grateful.”
“I helped you kill a giant spider.”
Bilbo: “Of course you did. We fought the giant spider together.”
Ori: “I’m the one that killed the spider with you.”
Bilbo: …
“So you don’t know my name then.”
(A pause.)
(Bilbo slips on the Ring and disappears.)
(Sound of footsteps speeding away.)