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FROM: Human Resources

TO: Mr. Penguin

SUBJECT: Casual friday

Dear Mr. Penguin,

We are once again asking you to follow the company dress code on the last day of the week. Casual Fridays are mandatory. But even after several warnings, you continue to dress formal for the whole workweek – and even on holidays, as your most recent postcards seem to suggest.

If you don’t choose something informal to wear next Friday, we have no choice but to give you the opportunity to start a new job search.

We are looking forward to see some changes in attire next week. A denim shirt, maybe?

FROM: Human Resources

TO: Mr. Penguin

RE: Casual friday

Dear people at Human Resources,

I’m always naked.

  1. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
  2. What would you do while you were there?
  3. Would you bring me?
  4. What would you consider a perfect date?
  5. What about that time I took you to the zoo? Wasn’t that pretty good?
  6. Would you rather be old with the mind of a young person, or young with the mind of an old person?
  7. Do you think I’ll look hot when I’m old?
  8. When is it my turn to answer questions?
  9. If you could eat any food for the rest of your life, what food would you pick?
  10. Do you think we should just switch to my turn now?
  11. Why do you think the couple’s counselor made us do this?
  12. If you could have anyone, living or dead, as your dinner guest, who would it be?
  13. What’s so special about Albert Einstein?
  14. Don’t you think I’m a good dinner guest?
  15. How am I “sensitive”?
  16. Also, do you want to have dinner with my parents on Tuesday?
  17. What do you mean you’re busy on Tuesday?
  18. Do you not like my mom or something?
  19. Why don’t you like my mom?
  20. Is it because she doesn’t like you?
  21. How is that rude?
  22. What do you mean I’m “always” rude?
  23. Where are you going?
  24. Wait! Where are you going?