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Adolf Hitler

Charlie Chaplin 

Michael Jordan in a Hanes commercial from 2007

Bruno Ganz when he played Hitler in a film

Sir Anthony Hopkins when he played Hitler in a different film

Sir Ian McKellan when he played Hitler in a straight to DVD Hitler movie

Sir Alec Guinness when he played a Sir Alec Guinness-looking Hitler in his very own Hitler movie

David Bamber when he played a David Bamber-looking but also Hitler-passing Hitler in his also unique Hitler movie

Whomever Hitler kissed on the lips after drinking a glass of milk

Mr. Potato Head toys owned by deranged children 

Me for a second when I was shaving my beard square by square

New me starts today

Oh, how I’ve let myself go 

Fetch my workout pearls


Ethel Gregory

Lost five pounds from Spanish Flu 

She’s a lucky bitch


Modesty be damned

Chop off my hair and bring me 

A looser corset


Harriet, Eunice

Gertrude, Millicent, and Blanche 

Are in my girl squad


What in the Sam Hill? 

Ethel is hot AND funny? 

Pick a lane, Ethel!


Suck it, convention!

I’m going on a solo 

Automobile trip


I’m going to wear

My sluttiest knee-length dress

The first time I vote

Dusk.  One of those times.  You know the kind.  A summer evening.  Kids playing ball.  The sun setting.  Stars arriving in the black limousine of night.  The kind of night you dreamed of when you were young.  Now that you’re old, you know that’s just what it was. A dream.  Morning comes, and so does that kind with a u in it. You in it.  Mourning.

Some people write like this.